A little about me and my Blog.

i consider journal writing/bloging theriputic. it is also a historical record of events in my life. it exist purly for my own benifit. i do alow others to see it that i trust only for the reason that they might better understand me or relate to something and have it help on some level on the road of life.

i am also working on my personal memroir on webook.com and my journal recordings assist me to tell as compleate of a story as possible. i am not looking for fame or sypathy or anything else that may be evoked in a person who reads my writings. The only way i would hope my writing wouuld effect others is that it will give them a sence that they are not alone, and hopefuly encorage them to keep on puting on foot in frount of another.

God has recently given me a vision of how to help others that have been though abuse. "Hope and Healing" was started in 2001 as on online suport group for abuse survivors, it is being tranformed in to a actual place on earth instead of in cyber space.

Monday, September 3, 2012

RE: From bki.dream@gmail.com

It seems the current lessons are to break me of my remaining self-sufficent toughness. im not doing to well at surrendering to that... i was only ever loved for what i could do and never for who i was. my feeling thoughts and moods were always unacceptable behaviors, so its very hard to let anyone into this place in me that has been condemed as a waste land for so long. the walls of toughness stand tall and thick, but God has been knocking out some bricks one by one. unforently everything that has built up on this side of the wall is really ugly, smelly and intense. so as this sewage starts to leak out it effects those around me in what i have been taught as negative ways. im so afraid of losing tender relationships, i really never learned proper social stuff, it was all bad messages of shame.
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