My heart aches; my head doubts all that I should know I stepped forward in faith, yet fell on my face When I questioned if that was really you calling my name How shallow I must seem to you How fragile and easily confused Undeserving of any further consideration from you My life I lay before you You reach down, and take my hand You lift me up from this mud I put myself in So undeserving of your love, yet your grace pours out to wash me clean I don’t have to pretend I have it all together I don’t have to hide my tears from you You hold them in your hand then lay them on the ground Where the seed of love was perfectly placed To grow me into a child of your own. Love so amazing, grace so complete You hold nothing good back from me When I seek your face You love me anyway You bring beauty from these ashes Like nothing in life that I’ve ever known I seek to seek you more than anything on this earth For that is what is required For me to understand how much you loved me When you sent your son to the cross for me Dying in shame He who deserved to be crowned highest king and richest in the world The lowest of deaths, yet I claim that my life is unfair How shallow I must seem to you Undeserving of any further consideration My mind says run and hide in shame Still I seek you still You lift me up from this mud I put myself in So undeserving of your grace, yet you wash me clean Such a perfect love that no human can ever give Love so amazing, grace so complete You hold nothing good back from me When I seek your face Now you call out to me, to take all that you have given Look to my side and pass it along To learn to love like you do To see past the faults and guide others to a better place with Grace With the strength that only you can give You ask me to stand in the gap For those who are far from where you are And even when they spit in my face Like they did many times to you Stay faithful to the cause Because you loved me anyway Long before I seeked you You were calling my name I fought and cursed you Pushed you as far away as I could I nailed you to that cross I put those thorns on your brow I pierced your side Hoping you would die and leave me alone And stop telling me how much you want me Yet you loved me anyway And when I seeked your face You held nothing good back from me You washed the history clean with your grace And you loved me like I was always your own Love so amazing, grace so complete

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This mornings words

This morning... the differnce beween 3am at mt. zion vs the 3am here.... well spiritual position difference.... at mt. zion i placed myself in Gods hands compleatly and just listened to what He had to say and wrote it down, alowing Him to pick the topics and guide the conversation. here i talk to God and half hazerdly alow His hand to guide my thoughts to where He wants to speak to me... here God's hand leads me, but greater it was there when i was in God's hand compleatly. When im only following God's hand the temptaion is there to try to force and direct His hand to what I want. it is simply not as effective.
one of the challenges God is giving me right now is to find deeper security in Him and trust Him more. sin is simply defined as missing the perfect mark. the root of sin is not trusting God and the modivation for sin is trying to find security outside of God. its not a list of rules of right and wrong, its about drawing closer to where God is. seeking Him, desiring to be where He is. if we are not there yet, we can ask God to fill us with that desire. we have not because we ask not. ask and it will be given to you, seek and you shall find, knock on Gods door and He will answer. i used to feel like i was tryimg to force God to love me, to earn my way into His love like some adopted child that just was hard to love. i kept seeking God, i asked Him boldly if i was His child ... He answered with His love. He showed me things i couldnt learn from a book or have anyone else teach me. seek Him. seek first the kingdom of heaven and God's rightousness, then all these things that we Need will be added... even what we didnt know that we needed... and God will strip away the things we thought we needed but only trip us up and hinder our veiw of Him.

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL264EA592C0BE1126 Hope and Healing in HIm youtube chanel .. also check out my grace chanel.