Whenever we try to skip a step we end up having to come back and repeat it. the short cut is just an illusion that keeps us thinking we are moving forward while we are still just traped. Running from the pain only numbs the feelings, both the good and the bad. it takes more courage to face it than to avoid it. there is no perfect time to start. it's important to remeber that it dosn't have to be perfect the first time, sometimes we have to just try to get the momentum moving, theres time to perfect the process later. if we are to live in the truth and the light in life changing ways then every word of the bible tends to get reframed in the mind from when it was read from the tough it up and judgmental mindset. we can always read something and twist it to fix what we want. in high school our english teacher had us read a poem and we each had to write about it's meaning. we all had differnt answers on what it ment. then he pulled out what the author intended it to mean and that was compleatly differnt from what the author had later wrote to explain it. with this in mind we can understand why there is so much false doctrine, intense theologies and fighting beweeen churches. everyone holds tight to what it means to them but never see God outside of the box of their own understanding. without the holy spirit it is impossible to see beyond our own perpectives. then there is the fear of change and that carries some pride of not wanting to admit we could ever be wrong. we all try to self comfort our life's because we havn't learned how to fully rely on God and eachother. then there's the people who never try to self-comfort, they can only begg others for comfort. usally because of lack of good role models of how to handle pain. theres gota be a balance somewhere there. that's a fuzzy area still. bearing with oneanother is hard, expessialy when our own pain is crying from deep inside and begging for the healing touch. then we build resentments toward those who do ask for help. i don't know what the end product of all this work will look like, i don't want to try to put it into a mold before God molds it in His way. it just will not be right like that. i tried to fit into molds my mom had of me with being rebecca of sunny brook farm... and i nievely accepted my mothers mold of my father instead of getting a chance to know who he was for myself. i'm well practiced in trying to make things look right on the outside while everything inside is out of place. it will always be a temptation to skip the steps and make it all look good, expessialy when societys pressures to buck up to be more acceptable and fun to be around. then messages about not being self centered and self seeking get scewed into pretending away the pains. pain that can't go away with distracting the mind needs to be taken to the great physisian. some pains will work themselves out with just a little time, love and a hug, some need to be talked through with someone to process it. and someone not used to processing it will need a lot of extra time on that step till they learn some skills to do it themselves. i don't think anyone truly enjoys being a burden on others, maybe there are a few weirdos out there. i'm glad the bible says to bear with oneanother eachothers burdens, but so many people have been stuffing for so long they can't help with someone elses burdens because their own are too much to bear. God's yoke is easy and He is the sorce of rest and strangth while walking this long dark hard roads. whenever it feels like to much we just cry out to Him. we are never alone in our pain like that because He is always near. surrender and cry out is all that it takes to access that spirit place of rest and strangth. There is no perfect time to start. there may only be moments to let small peices out for a little while, but that gets the momentum going. hopeing for a moment when the schedual is clear for a langth of time then expecting that we can just sit down and start the process that we have been holding off on... it dosnt work that easy... that's a buisness aproch to emotions, and emotions will not conform to the molds we often wish they would. the longer it's held on to the harder it is to get it to come out when the oportunity arises. holding on for another day makes it hurt more in the long run. doing one thing a day to let a little bit out becomes very important. time dosn't heal many types of wounds, and those type will get worse when ignored then when they do come out it's a lot more ugly and dramatic than organally required. so think about 1 thing a day minimum. what can ya do today. what one thing can you write about it or draw a picture about or make a song about. we have to make the time. even if it's a 15 min. break. when i first started dealing with stuff i would keep something with me, usally my blankie, but it can be a small object of any choicing. and whenever i had that object in my had was "ok" time to process a little. then when it was time to get back to work and life the object would be put away. my blanki helped alot, it absorbed the tear